We got bad news last night about M's brother, E. The doctors demanded that his family come in ASAP to discuss life support issues. His family is congregating at the hospital tonight.

M and I have an appointment with a potential photographer tonight, so I'll have to brave it alone. I offered to cancel the appointment and go to the hospital with him but he didn't want me to, saying he doesn't want this family stuff to impact the wedding planning.

On top of the news about E, I'm dealing with trying to adjust to a new home, chaos at work, planning a gala event for 160 or so guests in October, and health issues. However, the news about E put me over the edge.

Last night was emotional. The stress was so thick you could cut it with a knife. We even got into an arguement about how to sort the incoming mail, for hell's sake! In the 4 years we've known each other, we've only had 2 or 3 disagreements. Last night's disagreement was the second one we've had this week; the first one being about which boxes should be unpacked first. What the?!

M admitted he's not sure how he's going to react if his brother dies. He says so far he's been denying it. He's also reacting to the situation differently than his family members. One of his brother's asked him how they'd divide E's belongings and M snapped, saying "there's nothing to divide"... which isn't true. All of this worries me. I found out last night I've done more crying about his brother than he has (he admitted he hasn't done any).

Plus, how are we supposed to plan for a wedding when we're undergoing a state of family emergency? How do we plan for a joyous occasion when we're not feeling joyous? It's wrong to postpone it but it also feels wrong to continue planning.

I figure that all this must be happening for a reason but I wonder what the lesson is supposed to be. I'm trying to see the big picture. At the very least, I know M and I will emerge stronger than ever when the storm finally calms.