Loriville Gazette
2007 July 13 quick recap

I know, I know. Almost a year since I last updated. I'm ashamed.

It's almost like I "forgot" about this diary. I was too preoccupied with other things to even think about updating... and even thought about closing it down for good.

But I didn't.

I'm back!

Much has happened in the last year. I started on Operation Health Improvement last year and am getting more and more involved in the process as time goes on.

I had started going to all-organic foods before I stopped updating last year... but now we've moved on to organic and/or natural household products of every kind, including cleaning products and beauty products. Basically, we have cleaned our home from anything toxic.

If you can't eat it, I don't feel comfortable having it in our house. Not that everything would be tasty... but it wouldn't hurt you.

I'm even currently in the process of removing all my silver fillings and replacing them with composite resin. I'd been having a bunch of quirky health issues and even started tasting a metallic taste in my mouth and figured it was from the fillings. So I went to the dentist and, sure enough, my fillings are so old that they had begun deteriorating. The fillings were pock-marked and turning black.

My dentist said there was no doubt that the fillings were leaking, possibly contributing to my health problems.

Oh, and he confirmed the beginning stages of periodontal disease. I had seen a different dentist last September and was told by him that I had beginning periodontal disease but I didn't believe him. I have always seen a dentist every 6 months and this was the first time I'd heard anything other than I had a problem with calculus build-up (despite brushing and flossing once/day).

That was a shocker.

So, anyway, after all my dental work is said and done (minor cosmetic work + mouthguard for grinding my teeth when I sleep + replacement of 5 fillings, one of which needs to be a crown) I'll be approximately $7,000 poorer. Big thumbs down. It needs to be done, though. Insurance is covering some of it. Not enough... but I guess I can't really complain. I love my new dentist.

So, two fillings replaced; three more to go.

I started working out with a personal trainer last January. He promised awe-inspiring results in 4 weeks. Amazing, right? It didn't work for me. He was SHOCKED but what can I say, I have a stubborn body. Then he started inferring that my atrocious diet must be the culprit. I was offended because I do not have an atrocious diet. Yes, I eat out more that I would like but I am much more aware of what I eat than the average American. I avoid artificial sweeteners (gave 'em up last fall, yay!), hydrogenated oils, processed foods, high fructose corn syrup, etc. and eat almost completely organic at home.

Three months later, my body looked only slightly more toned but I was tired of paying $450/month for private in-home personal training that wasn't providing show-stopping results.

Plus, I was going to start psychotherapy and couldn't afford both. That's right: I started seeing a therapist in March due to my chronic anxiety. It seemed to be getting worse over time. M and my family were starting to notice how tense and uptight I was.

I see my therapist once/week. I really like her. I now think of her as a friend.

Turns out my anxiety had gotten much worse after I had Isaac. I didn't know why. I just figured that came with the territory of having kids.

Not so. She recently diagnosed me with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder as a direct result of Isaac's newborn period. I was a mess for about the first year of Isaac's life. There were so many different things going on, including what she thinks was undiagnosed Postpartum Depression.

I had many of the PTSD warning signs, such as inability to even re-visit that time in my life without crying, having very detailed and morbid "fantasies" of terrible things happening to me or my family. I was also petrified by the mere idea of having a second child.

We began trauma work last week using NLP (neuro-linguistic programming). It's amazing how quickly it works. I don't feel emotionally scarred anymore and can now actually think back to that time without tearing up or becoming uncomfortable.

So, yeah, there's been a lot on my plate for the past year.

Isaac is doing so well. He is now 3 and such fun! Lastely he's been on a Wizard of Oz kick. This morning, he looked at me and asked, "Are you a good witch or a bad witch?" I told him I'm Glinda, the good witch from the North.

Tomorrow morning we're going to an annual "breakfast with the elephants" at the zoo. The zoo serves up a pancake breakfast for the humans and the humans get to feed the elephants fruits & veggies they bring from home. We're looking forward to it!

I would stick around and write for hours if I could but it's after 11 pm and I'm tired. Time to think about bed. Goodnight!

p.s. So is there a specific reason for the mass exodus from Diaryland? Most of my favorite diaries have moved! Are there greener pastures elsewhere? What happened?!

back & forth

quick recap - 2007 July 13
Happy August! - 2006 Aug 01
I dream of Albuquerque - 2006 Jul 08
mindstorm - 2006 Jun 30
Pomegranate scale - 2006 Jun 24