This week, I had 2 chiropractor appointments and have a PT appointment tonight. I'll have to ease up on the appointments soon because my wallet cannot keep up.

I saw my chiropractor for the first time since the pinched nerve incident last Monday. She attempted some adjusts on my lower back but said that 'I was stiff as a board'. Then she lectured me on steps I can do to improve my situation, as a locked up lower body/pelvis can create a long and difficult labor. (Eeeek!)

She said my problem isn't muscular. It's emotional. I said, "I don't understand how that can be because I feel fairly stress-free and relaxed." She then asked, "How's the house coming along?" and I almost burst into tears.

I told her that it's going slowly, that I don't know if the addition will be complete before May, and that we'll probably have to turn the living room into a make-shift nursery. And I'm tired of dealing with construction dust everywhere. I haven't lived in a clean house since last August.

She then instructed me to talk about my emotions (?), "breathe into my pelvis" (?), and take lots of walks to loosen up my lower body even if they're short 1/2 mile walks.

So here are my questions: How do I breathe into my pelvis? And isn't my diary a good place for letting out my emotions? Don't I already do that?! I do know that I've been complaining a lot lately....

This is how my conversation with M goes every time I bring up the house:

Me: "I'm worried that the house won't be completed by the time The Scruff arrives."

M: "Yeah, me too."

(silence or change of subject follows)

You know, I did attempt "breathing into my pelvis" and think I may have gotten the gist of it because when I saw the chiropractor again last night, she was amazed by my improvement. I told her, "Well, I've been trying to be more mindful of my lower body, like thinking about how my hip joints feel when I walk... and trying to loosen them up. And I've been trying to breathe deeper, down into my belly." She was impressed.

Because I do not want a difficult labor, I will exercise emotional release and list my concerns about becoming a parent:

1. Unfinished addition and unclean house.

2. Negatively impacting my career.

3. Long, painful childbirth.

4. Being a bad mom.

How can anyone not be emotional about having a kid? Anyone who's normal would be petrified, right? After all, it's a huge life-altering event. My life will never be the same again. I am at peace with that, even though I can't fully understand what it means right now. I do know our life will revolve around Isaac's well-being. I know I will not be getting much sleep for the first several months of Isaac's life. I know we will no longer be able to eat out every night until Isaac is much older. Ditto for traveling.

I got some good news regarding my job a couple days ago: My boss and my boss's boss told me I could go part-time after maternity leave. This news was such a relief! I don't have to quit now! This news was good for my stress level.

In other news, I plan to attend the following concerts this spring: Thin Lizzy in February, Liz Phair in March, and A Perfect Circle in April. The Pixies are supposedly doing a reunion tour in May but I fear it may be too close to my due date... and not in San Francisco. I will keep researching, though.

Happy upcoming weekend!