And it doesn't help that the scale has been inching higher ever-so-slowly, hoping I won't notice. I'm now 10 lbs. above my "comfortable" weight.

I find this really distressing because I haven't really changed my eating habits that much. I admit I have not attended ballet for the past 6 weeks because of one thing after another (business trip, followed by moving, followed by 2 weeks of the flu, followed by viral labyrinthitis, followed by a raging bladder infection last Thursday night). However, I have replaced my ballet workouts with kickboxing workouts and runs up the stairs leading to Turtle Hill near my house. So why the extra girth?

The most disturbing thing about this whole scenario is that my abs have not been this toned since I was 16. Apparently I'm bigger or else my clothes wouldn't be feeling this snug.

I have been doing push-ups at night, every other night, beginning two weeks ago but I doubt the extra weight is due to extra muscle this early in the game.

I posted a cry for help this morning on the diet & nutrition message board I frequent (a.k.a. the Atkins board). Reading my post and seeing no apparrent reason for my extra poundage, one woman asked if I was pregnant - yikes! I'm decidedly not, considering I've been using oral contraceptives for the past 13 years!

The last straw came a few minutes ago, while I was in the bathroom. I noticed a gaping hole in my favorite Thai silk pants! It looked like the fabric was deteriorating away right there in the lower butt area (and not at a repairable seam, mind you). Luckily it's not too noticeable... yet. But it's obvious I'll have to throw these pants away when I get home, which makes me very sad indeed.

I'm so discouraged and disgusted. Theoretically I'm doing everything right, so I'm not sure what the problem is. Starting tomorrow, however, I'm getting strict with my diet and will re-evaluate my condition in 2 weeks.

I am also going to ballet tonight, no ifs ands or buts.

Side note: I colored my hair two nights ago because the gray was getting out of control. It's now the darkest it's ever been, a deep dark mahogany... and I really like it. A big bonus is that my complexion looks rosier and healthier.