Tonight M and I will be celebrating our "first annual Christmas tradition". Tonight and every year on the 23rd we will have our own little Christmas together. We will listen to Christmas carols, do last-minute gift wrapping, light candles, and watch Christmas specials on television. I will also make dinner... but I�m not yet sure that I�ll be able to do that tonight. I plan on doing it for sure in future years, though.

I hope he�s in the mood for celebrating tonight. He�s been very grumpy lately. Last night he actually had the nerve to tell me how disgruntled he was with Christmas falling in the middle of the week because he won�t be able to work on the house! Grrrrr.

Health-wise, things have not been good. My OB consistently kept telling me that my overwhelming fatigue was "normal pregnancy-related fatigue". I was bewildered because, honestly, I do not feel "normal". After Zaugi found out that thyroid disorders run in my family, I told my OB that I�d like my thyroid tested. She was understanding, but I got the impression that she was scoffing at me in her head. She agreed to do the testing but then repeated, "But I still think it�s just normal fatigue." I responded by saying, "Yeah, I hope so."

Needless to say, she was very surprised when the results came back. I am hypothyroid. She told me to call my GP ASAP. I had an appt with my GP yesterday and all he did was give me referral slips to see an endocrinologist. What a waste of time.

I am really upset by this diagnosis. I can�t even find much information on the internet about being hypothyroid while pregnant. However, my What To Expect When You�re Expecting book says that untreated hypothyroid can cause problems in the baby, such as mental retardation, brain damage, deafness, and miscarriage. I am half way through my pregnancy so doesn�t this mean I�m "untreated"? I hope my appt with the endocrinologist is enlightening and puts my fears to rest.

I spent Sunday night in the ER. There was no diagnosis other than possible 1) Allergy attack, 2) Viral infection, or 3) Pulmonary embolus. I was having breathlessness and pounding heart. I�m hoping it wasn�t #3 because, well, it�s fatal, after all. I declined doing a CAT scan on my lungs because it could potentially harm the baby. The baby�s health is already in jeopardy so I didn�t want to create any more needless problems. Plus, the doctor told me that if I wasn�t pregnant, he�d diagnose my affliction as viral. But since I was pregnant, pulmonary embolus was possible� although unlikely. Since my chances of having it were low, I figured it was better to decline testing.

So if I die suddenly, it was probably due to a pulmonary embolism.

I wish I didn�t have to work half day tomorrow. I�d rather sleep in and enjoy a leisurely day before driving off to Sacramento.

Happy Holidays!