This happened to me earlier this week:

Setting: Bliss Weddings forum

Topic: Registry

One woman posted that she and her fiance had bought a fixer-upper and that they wanted to register at Home Depot... but that she wasn't sure if that was considered appropriate because her fiance is an electrician.

I responded by saying that she can register for whatever she chooses, but that some guests might find it odd that they're registering for tools, knowing her fiance's an electrician. I said (quote), "Hmmmm. That's a tough one! Normally, I wouldn't find it odd at all that a couple was registering for renovation supplies. I know several couples that have done that. However, since your fiance is an electrician, it might raise a few eyebrows. I say go for it! If the guests feel uncomfortable about buying something off your home improvement registry, they don't need to purchase anything off it."

The moderator then asked, "Just curious - why would it raise a few eyebrows if an electrician registered for tools at The Home Depot?"

I then responded by saying, "I think it might be a little suspicious because guests might be thinking that he's stocking up on work supplies. It *could* be compared to someone placing reams of paper, post-its, scotch tape, etc. on their registry (and one person of the couple just happens to own their own business). Personally, I wouldn't want to purchase something off a registry that I thought both people wouldn't enjoy. Of course, in this case, it's legitimate (they ARE adding on to their home)... but some of the guests might not know that. They should be prepared to explain the situation."

Then she responded with, "Who cares if the gifts will be used at his job? The last I checked, wedding gifts were to be used how the married couple chose to use them. If you don't want to buy something off the registry that you don't think both the bride and groom will use, then don't buy it. Plain and simple."

Ummmm, didn't I just say that? I don't think I could have been any clearer if I shouted it out in all caps! Whatever. I simply opted not to respond to that one. It's not my fault she has problems with reading comprehension.

I swear! You try to be helpful and you just get morons second-guessing you. I've had it.

So, enough of that. I want to talk about my divine 4th of July.

M and I went wine tasting in Sonoma yesterday, followed by barbecuing at a friend's house, followed by watching the Marin and Fisherman's Wharf fireworks on Turtle Hill. Maybe it's just been a long time since I've seen fireworks, but they sure are fancy nowadays. Squiggles, smiley faces, halos, etc!

It was a perfect day.

For the first half of today, I had a screaming headache. I took 4 aspirin and 2 exedrin before it slowly started to dissipate. Then I worked out, did some minor vacuuming, changed the sheets on the bed, did the dishes, then went down the street for lunch and a haircut. Next on my agenda is de-griming the shower curtain.

After four years, I've finally made a breakthrough with some of M's friends. These are his female friends, some of which are simply in his clique, and others that are his friend's girlfriends. I've always felt like an outcast because they're all really close with each other and would huddle around each other at gatherings. I always felt like I was getting the cold shoulder.

Anyway, there was a birthday party on Tuesday night that I reluctantly went to, being that I was coming down with some sort of bug (sore throat, aches, fatigue, etc.). My guard was down and, as a result, I wasn't trying to impress anyone. I just thought I'd poke my head in and say "hi", then leave. But wouldn't you know it, I ended up having actual conversations with these elusive girls! And you know what? They're friendly and personable!

I still don't know why it took four years to break the ice, but whatever. It very well could be my doing... which brings me to my next topic.

My clique of friends. I'm realizing that I have Issues. Every time I talk about a certain group of friends, M notices the resentment in my voice. He asked me just last night, "Why are you so resentful of them? It sounds like you're the one with the problems, not them. They're not the ones holding grudges...."

(Note: They invited me on a weekend trip.)

I don't know what my problem is, but sometimes I think I give up too easily on people who disappoint me. Several of these friends have disappointed me. Normal people forgive and forget, right? I don't know if I can do that.

Yeah, I can forgive. I just don't know if I can forget.

I don't consider them "friends" anymore; they've been demoted to "acquaintance". There's nothing wrong with that, except that I don't feel like going on weekend trips with acquaintances. And I don't feel like inviting acquaintances to my wedding.

It's just all so weird and foreign to me.

I wouldn't feel so hostile towards them if it weren't my own damn fault. It's my fault that I let the one-way communication go on for so long. If I hadn't let it get to my breaking point, I might be able to pleasantly hang out with them for a weekend trip.

One thing's for sure. I need to get over this. I've been grieving over this since my 30th birthday, for hell's sake. I've got to learn to let bygones be bygones. Or whatever that saying is....