I've been holding off saying what I'm going to say because I'll probably go to hell for it. But then I remember that this is my diary and I should let things fly if I need to.

I need to do this.

I've recently come to find out that my future mother and father in-law are jerks. There, I've said it.

Long, long story... but I'll try to make it short while still being clear. Remember E, M's brother who attempted suicide last January? Well, we found out three weeks ago that he'll never be able to speak or eat again. He'll always have a tracheotomy and a G-tube (I'm guessing the G means gastrointestinal tube? It's a tube that leads directly to his intestines in which he's fed through).

So anway, two weeks ago we were given two days' notice by the hospital that they were releasing E. I was extremely angry about that. It was like the hospital was taking advantage of the family because they live nearby and are extremely interested in E's condition. Otherwise, they wouldn't have just dumped him out onto the street, would they? Probably not. They probably would have allowed time to find him an apartment, etc.

So I was angry. Angry that we weren't given adequate notice to prepare a place for E to go. M's brother, Joe, has a nice home that has an extra unfurnished bedroom, so it was determined that E would stay there temporarily.

Had there been more notice, there would have been time to clean out a bedroom at M's parent's house. They're living in a four-bedroom house, but the rooms aren't empty and would take a lot of work to make room for E.

Also, M's oldest brother (actually, half-brother), John (a Vietnam vet stoner who has not worked one day since serving in Vietnam), lives in the unit below M's parents. His unit has three bedrooms, but he "rents" the extra rooms out in exchange for pot. So, being that there was no extra room in John's place, that wasn't an option for E, either.

But back to Joe. Joe is the next older sibling from M, got married exactly one year ago, and has a nephew staying in one of his other extra bedrooms. He shouldn't have to put E up; he's already overextended. But there was no other option with such short notice.

So E is currently staying with Joe and his wife, Cathy. This makes me really sad. It's not fair that they have to take care of their older disabled brother.

I asked M, "What if we already had the attic renovated, and we had an extra bedroom? Does that mean we'd have to house him? Because I really don't think I could handle that right now."

M, being the perfect boy he is, said, "Of course we wouldn't, being that you feel that way."

Fast forward to last Tuesday night. E was here visiting and flat out "asked" (via notepad) if he could stay here this weekend because Joe and Cathy were going to be celebrating their one-year wedding anniversary and wanted some time to themselves. That's totally understandable.

But hello?! We live in a one-bedroom house! We don't have extra space for someone. I mean, we have a pull out couch but my clothes closet is also in the front room where that pull-out couch is. It's a hardship on me if someone stays there because I can't easily get to my clothes.

So M told E that he could come over and hang out Saturday night (last night) but that we don't have enough room for him to stay the weekend.

It just angers me when there are two other homes he could have gone to this weekend that would have room for him: his own parents' or his older brother's.

It was understood that Joe's house was just a temporary thing, but their mom has recently had the nerve to say, "Well, it might be longer than that. I can't convince L [their dad] to let him stay here and John has tenants... etc. etc. etc."

Excuse me?!

This is the part where I succintly describe the problem. You see, E and their dad have never gotten along. In fact, their dad and several of the siblings have never gotten along with their dad. Red flag, isn't it?

So here's their dad saying E can't stay with him and their mom. And here's the jerky part about M's mom: she's going along with their dad's decision!

Their mom has always been really close with E. You'd think this would be good enough reason for her to stand up to her husband, but no. She tells M, "You really should talk to your dad about this. Try to convince him to let E stay here."

Hello?! He's your husband! You talk to him!!

My head spins just thinking about this again. Correction: I think about this sorry situation all the damn time. Therefore, my head must be constantly spinning.

And then his mom has been acting like it's Joe's duty to house E because "Joe's had it easy". What?! He works his ass off and, as a result, is successful and makes a good living as a manager for a large plumbing contracting company. But that doesn't mean he has it easy! He has money because he is good at what he does. Long ago, Joe used to be a cocaine dealer and was generally always in trouble; I'd hardly say his life has been easy.

His mom must be on crack for saying so.

I was really worried last night because M left to take E back to Joe and Cathy's around midnight and still wasn't back at 3:15! I had no way to get in touch with him and my heart was racing because I had terrible visions of him getting hit by a drunk driver or getting shot by gang members because he had mistakenly driven though the wrong neighborhood at night.

Finally, he came in at 3:30 saying that Joe had talked his ear off back at the house about the entire sorry family situation. He relayed to me the essence of their conversation, which got me worked up. I was so sad for him that he has such sorry parents that I cried.

He kept apologizing, saying, "I'm sorry you have to deal with this, too. My parents are terrible parents. My dad's an asshole and my mom is spineless for enabling him and not standing up to him." (Of course, I told him that I was sorry that he was the one with the crazy parents.)

He said to me, "I am so glad you're not like my mom. Promise me that if I ever start acting out of line you won't tolerate it." Hell, no! I'd never tolerate that.

I told him, "I'd leave you in a second if you ever turned your back on our kids." He said, "Good. Because it's unacceptable and I'd never do that, anyway." That didn't surprise me. He's not the type to do that. Otherwise, I wouldn't be marrying him, would I?

He started talking about how he gives his parents a little bit of money every month to help them out financially, and that he's thinking it might not be the best idea anymore. I told him I wouldn't if I were him because they'd probably just turn their back on him, too, if he ever needed their help. I said, "They did it to E. They could easily do it to you, too."

Sad, sad reality. I really want his parents to be normal, loving parents. I'm scared because I'll be part of his family in six short months. His shoddy parents will be my in-laws.

I don't think we got to sleep until 4:30 or so. We were both so worked up that we couldn't sleep. I eventually got up to get milk for both of us and, when I brought it back to bed in the dark, accidentally spilled some on M's head!

Today found me changing the sheets.

Oops. M's home. I'd better go.