Valentine's Night was good, but totally different than we planned. First off, I didn't get home from work until quarter to 8 (ugh!) and, by that time, it was too late to go to the grocer and bake chicken for 1 hour... unless we wanted to eat around 10, which we didn't.

So, of course, we did what we usually do: go out. We went to a restaurant down the street that recently opened. They don't yet have their liquor license but they encourage people to bring their own alcohol. So, while we waited for our table, we rushed to the corner grocer and bought a bottle of barbera. Wouldn't you know it but this grocer carries wine by my favorite winery (which is typically hard to find).

We drank the whole bottle of wine while dining on tri-tip and salmon and tuna. Delish!

Then we went to Le Video to pick up our romantic movie. We chose the old James Stewart movie, The Shop Around the Corner. If you've seen You've Got Mail, you've seen this movie. The only difference is that the couple corresponds via snail mail, not email.

We both started nodding off near the end of the movie. We shut off the movie at that point and moved it into the bedroom (I had strewn red rose petals all over the bed). We finished the rest of the movie in bed.

And then after the movie, we fell asleep with the light on. I had apparently forgotten how tired I get after sharing an entire bottle of wine. I woke up all disheveled around 3 in the morning then got up to do my nightly ritual (brushing teeth, washing face, etc.) before returning to bed, remembering this time to turn off the light.

Today I did errands almost all day, which included a trip to the jewelry store to pick up M's ring. It's more beautiful than I remembered!

I totally relate to today's entry by Colz regarding how completely clueless some people are when it comes to manners and planning their wedding. Colz said it perfectly so I don't need to reiterate it here. M and I have had several conversations about this very thing.

We're having an open bar. Having it any other way is rude. If a couple cannot afford to pay for their guests' alcoholic beverages, they should serve what they can afford. It is not acceptable to expect your guests to pay for anything associated with your party. You don't have a cocktail party then ask your friends for financial contribution. A wedding should be no different.

And, we are not having a dollar dance, come hell or high water. I will, under no circumstance, accept money to dance with other men. I'm not a prostitute!

We are also not going to have a chicken dance or other macarena-type atrocities. Hell, we're not even going to have a bouquet or garter toss. We don't want to humiliate our single guests.

Unfortunately, some people don't take their guests into consideration. Colz is right; too many couples approaching the altar thinking "It's MY day. I can do what I want, dammit!"

I have a wedding manners book called The Bride Did What? In this book, there are disturbing reports of clueless couples who have charged an admission to their wedding!

Have I mentioned I've been having somewhat of an identity crisis? Well, I am. It has to do with this upcoming change of marital status and what "marriage" represents. Marriage has the "dull", "boring", and "safe" stigma attached to it, while singlehood has the "exciting", "glamorous", and "independent" stigma. Can you see where I'm going with this? Will I become a couch potato, lose the autonomy I so carefully cultivated ever since graduating from high school, and become one of those horrid people who says "we" all the time?

Of course, it didn't help that I don't have many positive examples of marriage. Most of my friends turned into unrecognizable freaks after they got married.

There's also the fact that people started treating me different once they learned I was getting married... like I've become more responsible or something. Or how they think it's the biggest accomplishment in my life thus far. I was appalled.

Thank heavens I found a book titled What No One Tells The Bride, which I highly recommend for others undergoing this transition. I learned that what I'm experiencing is totally normal (especially for happily single, independent women) and that the conflicting feelings will pass once I get over the new-ness of this transition period. "Just like you loved being single, you'll eventually love being married. Although it will be new and different at first, it will eventually become 'normal'. It takes time to adjust to new ways of life."

It was also reassuring to know that M and I will create our own definition of marriage and what it means to us. I can already tell you that our definition will not include anything remotely related to being boring or dull. We will not feel like we have to do everything together to be happy and secure in our relationship; we will develop separate interests. We will not turn into unrecognizable freaks.