For me, Christmas lost its magic when I stopped believing in Santa Claus. Since then, it's all been downhill. It gets duller with each passing year.

This year takes the cake, though. Here is this year's holiday agenda:

Since I'm at work today (how awful is that?!), M is going to pick up at work in about 2 hours. From here, we'll drive to Sacramento, straight to my mom's. We'll be able to spend about 2 hours there before heading over to my sister's. We'll get to spend a couple hours at my sister's house with my dad, opening presents from each other, then we'll have to go over to Grandma's to see all the relatives. We'll maybe get to spend 3 hours, tops, there. Then we'll spend the night at my mom's, have brunch with her tomorrow morning, then hit the road back to the bay area (Fremont, to be specific). We'll spend Christmas afternoon/evening with M's family in Fremont. Then, the day after Christmas, both of us have to be at work.

Where's the Christmas cheer in this? I'm all for spending time with family, but this year it's all disjointed and chaotic. Frankly, I don't see it getting any better in the coming years.

Next year, I hope to be on a trip, preferably out of the country. That might spice things up a bit. Hell, maybe my long-lost Christmas Spirit will even return.

We sent out our engagement announcements last night. I printed out some really nice simple ones on glossy photo paper, using Illustrator. I'll post one here once I'm back at my home computer. M gave me permission to post his picture. ;)

By the way, Alice, I let M read your entry in my guestbook. He was flattered. You know, I know a lot of people who had a proposal like yours... where the guy had just picked up the ring and couldn't wait, nixing all elaborate proposal plans. That's sweet, though: it demonstrates that he was just so excited he couldn't wait!

I think we've found our song... you know, for "the first dance": I've Been Loving You Too Long (To Stop Now) by Otis Redding. Beautiful and soulful! We considered quite a few, but I think we finally decided on this one. 1st runner-up is At Last by Etta James.

M has been spending hours on end re-arranging his house for my upcoming move. Strange how marrying him doesn't scare me... but living together does. Maybe it's because I LOVE living alone and I love my little studio. I'll miss it tremendously. Maybe it's because of my irrational fear due to a past experience of living with my ex-fiance, who "changed his mind" about getting married soon after I moved in.

On thing is for certain, though: I'm scared because I'm concerned about the final decor. Childish, I know, but valid nonetheless. M has some unusual decorating quirks and he's very attached to certain furnishings that aren't really usable. He just likes the way they look. Take the turn-of-the-century typewriter and sewing machine, for instance. He's used neither... ever.

I, on the other hand, am very particular about the principles of fung shui and creating a clutter-less, homey feel. Plus, since I've always lived in pretty small places with virtually no storage space, I had to live with only the bare essentials. Very few things of mine are "just for show".

M is a collector. Of lighted beer signs, retro (and sometimes even not working) kitchen appliances, those 1970 era toy Viewmatic viewers with dozens of slides, certain old magazines, etc. His house is reminiscent of a museum and, therefore, lacks a cozy feeling.

As you can see, we both have some compromises to make. In the meantime, I should just learn to let go and relax about the impending move.