Loriville Gazette
2001 Nov 14 oddities

Listening to: Everlast

It's been a good day, overall. At least until I ate 1/2 slice of birthday cake and got a sugar-induced headache. Dammit. Why do I do this? Note to self: Always refuse cake, no matter how rude and ungrateful I may appear.

On that note, there is a luncheon and ice cream social tomorrow for everyone in this company who raised over $100 for the American Heart Association's Heart Walk last month. What do I do? I know some sort of pasta dish will be served for lunch... and then I'll be sooo tempted by all that blasted ice cream. Maybe I shouldn't go. But... FREE ICE CREAM! Okay, okay... just kidding. I'd just get a headache if I did.

The guy at the parking fee collection booth this morning asked me on a date! As I pulled up, I could tell he was hedging about something. He'd look at me, smile, then about to say something, then stop himself. Since I was feeling pretty good as a result of those evil sugar/starch toxins leaving my body, I was smiling and generally just in a good mood. Parking guy noticed and remarked, "You are happy this morning." He was acting all weird and smiley while he took my money, then came the bomb, "Are you married?" Of course, I said "No, but I have a boyfriend...." I could see the disappointment in his eyes. "All the nice girls have boyfriends...." That's so sad that he said that! I thanked him for the nice compliment and drove off to find my parking space.

It's so odd how something embedded in everyday life will remind you of someone in your past. Like when I saw Hedwig the Angry Inch last weekend, one of the actors reminded me of Hans, a college boyfriend. This actor looked almost exactly like him, except that Hans was blond. M made a comment early in the movie that the actor was female ("he looks too feminine to be a man", he had said) and I didn't believe him, citing that Hans looked almost exactly like him. Boy, do I have egg on my face! I was talking with my friend Laura at work this morning and she said the particular actor in Hedwig and the Angry Inch is indeed a female!

I had to immediatley call M and tell him that he's one sharp cookie.

It's also odd that I do most of my daydreaming while driving to and from monthly design coordination meetings in San Jose. On my drive back this evening, I thought about how I wasn't so nice to certain guys in my past. Hans was one of them. It's somewhat disconcerting to realize that I consider myself a woman of little patience now, but when I compare my patience level of just 5 years ago... watch out! Things were black and white to me back then. People got on my nerves easily. Looking back, I would probably consider myself somewhat callous.

I wish I could tell Hans that I'm sorry. Sorry for making him cry at the dance club because I had flirted with my ex-flame (who I still carried a torch for). Sorry for mentally berating him because he'd invite me over for dinner then microwave leftovers his mom had given him (we were both starving students). Sorry I didn't thank him for letting me use his "computer typewriter" while I stayed up all night writing a term paper while playing a Cocteau Twins CD on repeat while he snoozed on the bed, then the next morning he sped me in his car to campus so I could turn in the paper without being late. Sorry for making snide comments about the way he dressed, i.e. "this song goes out to Hans, the guy who wears TWO BELTS, ladies and gentlemen!", on the campus radio station one night during my guest DJing stint (nevermind that most likely no one was listening - it was 3 am!). Sorry for playing that terrible April Fool's Day joke on him.

He was a kind, warm hearted person and, at the time, I just didn't appreciate it. Unfortunately, he's not the only one I slighted... but I won't go into that right now.

Right now I just want to lie down and relax. So I will.

Nighty-night.

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recently...

quick recap - 2007 July 13
Happy August! - 2006 Aug 01
I dream of Albuquerque - 2006 Jul 08
mindstorm - 2006 Jun 30
Pomegranate scale - 2006 Jun 24