She was diagnosed 5 months ago. At first, the doctor�s thought she had bronchitis. Then they thought she had pneumonia. And when her pneumonia didn�t get better even after 2 weeks of antibiotics, they figured they�d better take x-rays. That�s when they found the offensive cancer. She was given 6 months to live.

About 1 month ago, when her health began declining rapidly and she had to be bedridden, she was moved into Lorena�s home. Her mom didn�t want to be in a hospital. In-home hospice care was ordered. The nurse arrived weekdays from 9 to 5 so that Lorena could go to work or do chores... or simply get some sleep.

Her mom soon couldn�t eat. Chewing took too much effort. Lorena would put droppers full of water into her mouth so that she wouldn�t get dehydrated. Eventually, her mother didn�t have the energy to even swallow.

Plenty of morphine and oxygen was kept on hand at all times. It was used often.

Her mother died Sunday morning in peace and, thanks to the morphine, pain-free. She hadn�t spoken in two days. On Sunday morning, Lorena awoke to the sound of her mom�s unusual breathing. At first it was extremely rapid, then it started every-so-slightly getting further and further apart, until there was no breath to follow the last one. As her mother�s breaths became further and further apart, Lorena knew that her mom�s time had come to leave this world. Lorena called her brother and sister, but they weren�t able to arrive in time to say one last goodbye. Lorena, on the other hand, held her mom�s hand and talked to her, telling her that it was okay for her to leave, that everyone would be alright even though they would miss her terribly. She assured her mom that she would soon see loved ones she hadn�t seen in years. And Lorena read her passages out of the bible.

Frankly, I can't imagine a more peaceful way to die.

I used to think I wanted to die in my sleep, suddenly, of old age. Or upon impact in a car accident. I used to think that dying of a disease like cancer would be the absolute worst way to go. As of this week, I don't think that way anymore.

If you die suddenly, you are not able to say your farewells to loved ones, but if you have a chronic illness, you are. Even better, it�s not such a shock to the ones left behind. Plus, you get to plan for your death.

To Lorena�s surprise, her mother had arranged almost everything. She had chosen and purchased her burial plot, her will was updated, and she had arranged for a small funeral ceremony for close friends and family.

That's not too bad, is it?

The thing that scares me most about dying is the thought of dying in pain. That�s why, if I had a chronic illness, I would want access to lots of morphine. Death should not be painful.

p.s.... And just so you know, after I die I want my organs donated. Then I want to be cremated. A funeral would be nice, followed by a private ash scattering. I want my ashes scattered around all my favorite geographical locations.

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I received my Franco Sarto shoes last night in the mail. They are perfect in every way. In fact, I couldn�t have imagined them better. I�m wearing them right now, even.

Here�s a question for you: What�s the deal with Tommy Hilfiger wear?

Along with my shoes came a macys.com catalog. As I was perusing it, I noticed some Tommy Hilfiger items. Excuse me, but does anyone buy this stuff? It�s junk! It�s surprisingly boring... but with an excessive price tag. And that huge Tommy logo is ghastly. I just can�t imagine what would possess someone to buy that stuff.

Tomorrow is my day off work and I plan to relax and enjoy myself. Connie has enticed me to visit the Esprit Outlet because she has been flaunting her recent purchases all week at work. So, on top of visiting the land of Esprit, I'll also wash my car. I can't even remember the last time I washed my car. April? It could have been May but I know for sure it hasn't been washed since the late June/early July trip to southern Oregon. There is still dust on my back bumper from that trip.

Last night I couldn't make the garlic lime chicken, as planned. I forgot I didn't even have lime juice. So I made myself a hamburger patty instead, with melted provolone cheese on top. That was all (I didn't have any fresh salad greens so I couldn't even make a salad). Dessert was fresh strawberries with half n' half.

Hopefully tonight I will fare better in the dinner department.