Loriville Gazette
2001 Jul 26 9 years ago

As I was lying awake last night between 2 and 4:30 am, thanks to the non-drowsy Robitussin, I strangely remembered possibly the most embarrassing and humiliating experience of my life. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone... until now.

I was 21. My ex-boyfriend, Jay, and I had been broken up for about two years when he called me and asked me to be his date for a "disbanding ball". He was an officer in the Navy as a P-3 airplane navigator. His squadron was being disbanded because of a tragic accident a few months prior: more than half of his squadron (and several good friends) had died in a terrible airplane collision while doing tests.

The ball was going to be at the Marine's Memorial Ball in San Francisco. We would stay at one of the nicest hotels in San Francisco, the Mark Hopkins. I decided I'd go, since I knew he needed the moral support. I let him know I was going as his friend, as I had a boyfriend at the time.

I drove out from Davis and met him at the hotel. We got ready for the gala, then took a taxi to the ballroom. During the cocktail hour before dinner, Jay downed several vodka & cranberries and quickly became belligerent. He began slurring his words and then proceeded to ask everyone within a 10' radius to dance with me. I good naturedly went along with it... and hoped that dinner would begin soon.

When I tried asking him to slow down his drinking, he became angry. "Hell, I'm here to have fun," he slurred loudly. Finally, dinner began. I thought if he had some food in his stomach, he'd sober up.

No such luck. Dinner was even worse.

When the head guy was giving his speech, Jay kept interjecting sarcastic remarks and mumbling under his breath. Then laughing. He was creating quite a scene. Everyone looked confused. Well, maybe "shocked" is the better word.

Then, during another speech, he urinated in a water glass - while sitting at the dinner table! He then held it up for everyone to see and laughed uncontrollably.

I was mortified. I whispered to him menacingly, "Stop this! You're embarrassing me!" He sneered back at me, "You don't understand. These gatherings are supposed to be like this." Well, apparently no one else knew that because everyone else was just as mortified as I was.

During one of the speech breaks, I went to the bathroom. While I was in one of the stalls, I heard one woman asking another, "What's up with that Jay guy? And who is his date? I feel so sorry for her!" Embarrassment isn't even a word to describe what I felt.

After dinner, I let him have another two drinks before I dragged him out of the ballroom. I was afraid that he was going to pass out... THEN how would I get him back to the hotel? I had befriended one of his squad-mates because I wanted to have someone I could rely on if something went wrong. I kept asking this guy what I should do with Jay, asking him if he'd help me take him back to the hotel. He wasn't much help. He said, "I'm going to stay a while longer."

So I got Jay into the elevator. We were in the elevator with a few stuffy-looking older couples. It was quiet... until Jay burst out laughing. I shook my head and apologized to them, saying he'd had too much to drink. Once downstairs, I asked the bellhop to call a cab. I tried to keep Jay in one spot until the cab arrived. It wasn't easy.

He passed out once inside the cab. I'd never had an experience with someone so intoxicated, so I asked the taxi driver for advice. He just said, "Give him some soda crackers."

Once in the hotel room, Jay threw up all over the bathroom. Then he passed out on the bed, but continued throwing up. This worried me, as I'd heard of people choking on their own vomit.

I went into the bathroom to take off my makeup and was shocked to find that the entire bathroom was covered in vomit. Hence, I could not even wash my hands, let alone take out my contacts and wash my face. I was livid.

Soon, there was a knock on the door. It was Jay's squad-mate, the one I had befriended. "Thank God you're here. Jay threw up everywhere. Can I borrow your bathroom sink?" So he showed me to his hotel room as I thanked him profusely.

When I came out of the bathroom, he had dimmed the lights... and had taken off all his clothes! He stood in front of the door. I tried leaving the hotel room, but he placed his hand on the door to block me. I said sternly, "Let me out" and with all my strength, I surprisingly jerked the door open then ran down the hallway without looking back.

Once I was back in my hotel room, I called my boyfriend, Hans. I told him about all the horrors I'd experienced that night. He said, "I'm getting in my car right now to come get you." And I said, "How can you do that? My car is here and, frankly, I've had a few drinks so I shouldn't be driving right now." Trapped.

The next morning, Jay seemed genuinely perplexed about the vomit on the bedspread. I asked him, "Do you not remember anything? You acting belligerent? Passing out? Throwing up all over the bathroom?" I was mad. I then instructed him to go into the bathroom and clean up the mess because I was embarrassed enough as it was and the maid SHOULD NOT have to clean up after someone who spent the prior evening drinking himself silly and acting like a jackass. I asked him, "How do you feel? Hungover?" He said no, not at all.

He was in that bathroom quite a while but after he emerged I was in total disbelief when I went in there and saw not one trace of foul play. The bathroom was absolutely spotless. I still, to this day, don't know how he did it.

I was getting the hell out of there. When he asked me if I wanted to join him and some of his colleagues for breakfast in Belvedere, I flatly said no. I got in my car and drove away from there.

And I never saw him again.

His behavior sure was strange that night. He wasn't an alcoholic when I knew him. Obviously, he had done a lot of changing... for the worse.

Last I heard, Jay had gotten his MBA at Yale, then moved to Texas with his wife and family. I heard he'd disassociated himself from his family because they didn't approve of his wife. Jay was his wife's 5th husband, or so the story goes, and that her first husband was Jay's best friend. This woman had 3 or 4 kids from previous marriages. Jay's family had reason to believe that Jay's wife was a money-hungry heartless woman who only married Jay for his life insurance money. Supposedly, he had about a million dollars in life insurance. Jay's family was worried that she was going to kill him. His mom said to me, "We don't know where he is. If you believe in a God, pray for him." That was 5 or 6 years ago. I haven't heard anything since.

I hope Jay is okay but, damn, I'm glad I don't know him anymore.

back & forth
recently...

quick recap - 2007 July 13
Happy August! - 2006 Aug 01
I dream of Albuquerque - 2006 Jul 08
mindstorm - 2006 Jun 30
Pomegranate scale - 2006 Jun 24